Week 4 – Jeff Maness – March 4th, 2018
Conflict resolution is only as strong as your willingness to face it resolutely! In marriage, we will never truly learn to seek resolution unless we have resolved that resolution is the only answer. if both parties agree that divorce is off the table, no matter how bad the conflict is, we’re going to learn to resolve it because that is our only option.
It Takes Two – Conflict
All couples fight. Good couples fight clean, bad couples fight dirty. Good couples press to a resolution, bad couples press for a victory. Good couples, when they fight, it exposes their (good) character. A bad couple, when they fight, it exposes their immaturity. — Tommy Nelson (The Book Of Romance)
All couples fight. It’s inevitable, unavoidable, and inherent in any relationship where true intimacy occurs. All couples fight, but healthy couples fight fair. Unhealthy couples fight dirty, with below-the-belt jabs, sucker punches, angry accusations, and bitter grudges. Healthy couples fight for resolution. Unhealthy couples fight for personal victory. — Craig Groeschel (From This Day Forward)
Conflict resolution is only as strong as your willingness to face it resolutely!
Week #5 of Happily Never Happened
Big Question: What must we be willing to do with conflict?
Main Scripture: Song of Songs (Solomon) 5:2-6:13
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Song of Songs 5:2-3 Young Woman 2 I slept, but my heart (husband) was awake, when I heard my lover knocking and calling: “Open to me, my treasure, my darling, my dove, my perfect one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.” 3 But I responded, “I have taken off my robe. Should I get dressed again? I have washed my feet. Should I get them soiled?”
Song of Songs 5:4-5 4 My lover (husband) tried to unlatch the door, and my heart thrilled within me. 5 I jumped up to open the door for my love, and my hands dripped with perfume. My fingers dripped with lovely myrrh as I pulled back the bolt.
1. Stop reacting
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
Proverbs 10:19 Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.
James 1:19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
1 Peter 3:9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.
Psalm 103:10 He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.
Song of Songs 5:6, 10-16 6 I opened to my lover, but he was gone! My heart sank. I searched for him but could not find him anywhere. I called to him, but there was no reply. 10 My lover is dark and dazzling, better than ten thousand others! 11 His head is finest gold, his wavy hair is black as a raven. 12 His eyes sparkle like doves beside springs of water; they are set like jewels washed in milk. 13 His cheeks are like gardens of spices giving off fragrance. His lips are like lilies, perfumed with myrrh. 14 His arms are like rounded bars of gold, set with beryl. His body is like bright ivory, glowing with lapis lazuli. 15 His legs are like marble pillars set in sockets of finest gold. His posture is stately, like the noble cedars of Lebanon. 16 His mouth is sweetness itself; he is desirable in every way. Such, O women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend.
2. Start Recounting
1 Corinthians 13:5 It (Love) does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
Song of Solomon 6:2-9a Young Woman 2 My lover has gone down to his garden, to his spice beds, to browse in the gardens and gather the lilies. 3 I am my lover’s, and my lover is mine. He browses among the lilies. Young Man 4 You are beautiful, my darling, like the lovely city of Tirzah. Yes, as beautiful as Jerusalem, as majestic as an army with billowing banners. 5 Turn your eyes away, for they overpower me. Your hair falls in waves, like a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead. 6 Your teeth are as white as sheep that are freshly washed. Your smile is flawless, each tooth matched with its twin. 7 Your cheeks are like rosy pomegranates behind your veil. 8 Even among sixty queens and eighty concubines and countless young women, 9 I would still choose my dove, my perfect one…
3. Seek Restoration
Restoration = The action of returning something to a former owner, place, or condition.